Penthouse Website Review
November 25, 2009
–>
Penthouse.com |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
At Penthouse.com you know what you are going to get- ultra-high “magazine” quality girls doing explicit things. When I saw the tour I recognized lots of famous girls but in the members area I realized they have tons of other hot new girls I had never even heard of or seen anywhere else on the net. They also have a ton of old Penthouse stuff that goes back to the 1970′s. In the members area, they have navigation of ‘Penthouse Pets’, ‘Videos’, ‘Galleries’, ‘Live chat’, ‘Reading’, ‘World of Penthouse’ and ‘Store.’ They also have a calendar of their updates where it shows thumbnails of all their updates (7 days a week, nice!) Penthouse Pets has a directory of Pets by year and by name going back to the 1970′s. Videos has about 100 full length movies where you can jump directly to the scene you want to watch. It also has behinds the scenes videos from Penthouse photoshoots and a bunch of hardcore feeds and a video on demand theatre. ‘Live chat’ has bi-monthly live video chat sessions with select Penthouse Pets and models and ‘Reading’ has dirty stories from Penthouse Forum. Members of Penthouse also get access to PenthouseLetters.com, Variations.com and PenthouseForum.com most of which are erotic reading sites. Features: The photo galleries have a ‘zoom’ feature and the newer galleries are available in ultra-large sizes, the site has a search engine and the videos are downloadable but they are DRM’d. Bottom Line is that Penthouse may not really be the kind of SLEAZE we try to promote here but they are legends and they never have an ugly fucking chick so that’s overall pretty hot…and yeah i was fucking lazy and just copied the review they gave me…don’t like it ask for your money back and then get the fuck out. |
   |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Tera Patrick Site Review
October 19, 2009
Tera Patrick is hot. Like, top of the line, 10+ hot. Dayum. Alright. So we checked out her website (TeraPatrick.com) to see all the goods. And let’s just say it’s GOOD! There’s hundreds of photos and videos that you can download in awesome quality. There’s also videos that don’t feature Tera, in case you wanna see some other prime pussy. If you become a member, you can even score some sweet extras like a bio, a journal, blah blah blah. The site updates regularly too, so the hotness just keeps on cummin. Join Tera’s site if you like really, really good lookin naked chicks. No disappointment there.
Hit the jump for more video and pics!
MovieRoom.com Review
June 12, 2009
With a name like MovieRoom.com, you know it’s gotta be kickass. I mean…right? A room? Full of movies? Porn movies? That’s what I’m talkin bout. And check it. This virtual room is so goddamn full of movies that there’s over 6,000 of them. That’s a shitload of p0rnZ! Even if you were “man enough” to go through five a day, it would take you approximately 3.29 years to get through 6,000 movies. And who the fuck are we kidding? You’d have to have some kind of superman marathon dick to REALLY go through five movies a day every day. Read the rest of this entry »
Porn for your iPhone. Pornhub.com Review
June 2, 2009
Fuck Yeah! Porn on your iPhone, man what could be better? Maybe real pussy, but if you’re here looking at this review you obviously don’t have that. That’s alright, we wont judge you. We found videos that range from a couple of minutes to damn near 4o minutes of quality long dick fuckin. We found over 28,000 videos to watch. That means if you want to watch a brunette in a bukkake video while your on the on the subway, some Asian bondage when you’re at a bar mitzvah, or even a some amateur BJ action while at a softball game, you got your fetish covered. You can stream pretty good quality videos right to your iPhone for free or upgrade and iWank it to some HD on the run or on your home computer. The premium content gives you access to 10,000 HD videos to download and stream. The premium content is fucking worth it especially since you can test drive it for only $1. Just try to beat that price and beat your meat while you’re checkin out this fucking classy content. Best part about porn on the iPhone, no sticky keys.
EarlMiller.com site review
June 1, 2009
EarlMiller.com is the website of Penthouse magazine’s most published photographer, but it sounds like somewhere my grandpa would go shopping for overalls and rubber boots. Aside from the horrible name that conjures up mental images of 70-year-old VFW patrons, Earl Miller’s site has some quality content and top-of-the-line slut bags. This guy has shot three categories of bitches: porn stars, centerfolds and amateurs. You’ll recognize big names in the first two categories, and the amateurs…well they’re n00bz. Who the fuck knows who they are. More importantly, who the fuck cares? Not this guy. Just show me T&A. Fuck. Anyways. Earl’s site has over 1,200 zipped pic sets with 50 per set, and if you do the math, that’s a lot of photos (we’re not gonna do the math for you, you lazy sonofabitch). There’s also over 400 videos that can be streamed or downloaded, and with the quality of shit on this site, you’ll be making a deposit at the spank bank in no time. Sure, some stingy bastards might think the membership fee is a little on the high end, but you get what you pay for, dick.
Granny Ghetto Site Review
May 21, 2009
You know when you’re looking at MILF porn, and you get the feeling that they’re just not old enough? Welp, that’s what GrannyGhetto.com is for. This GILF site will fulfill all your senior-fucking fantasies. Between going to church and hitting the local bingo hall, these elderly bitches find time to take down a big cock or two. And with 50+ years of experience, you’d think they know how to suck a dick, right? Right. Riiiiight. I mean, sure, they got flap-jack titties. Sure, some of them haven’t shaved their bush since 1973. But that’s the glory of it. These wrinkly skanks are down to pound, and who doesn’t want to vomit—I mean, watch that? But srsly. There’s something like 35 vids, which isn’t a whole lot compared to your run-of-the-mill porn site. But then again, you won’t see grandma getting railed, taking a shot in the face, and even getting busy in a threesome, on your standard site. So, if you do the math, Granny Ghetto is actually a bargain. I think? Well, whatever. You also get access to bonus sites like SilviaSaint.com, PeterNorth.com, TerraPatrick.com and more if you sign up. I rest my case.
BarelyLegal.com Review
May 15, 2009
Hustler’s Barley Legal site is one of the primo creamo sites out there for ripe snatch. When you join the site, you get access to their whole DVD library (over 4,000 scenes) that will get you doin’ the five-knuckle shuffle in no time. You can perv out on shit like big boobs, corrupted skanks, innocent bitches (psshhhh yeah right), jungle fever, POV…pretty much whatever. All these chicks are super slutty, now that they legally can be! Wooohoooo! Read the rest of this entry »
TEN.com Review
May 11, 2009
What does the number 10 actually have to do with Ten.com? Simple: Not a goddamn thing. The chicks on Ten.com are hot (though not all exactly 10’s), and there’s way more than 10 videos. Also, all the skanks are older than 10 (unfortunately). So really, Ten.com is just a clever name. But who cares? I’m pretty sure I’d rather type in just three letters plus a .com to free up my hands quicker anyways. If you get what I mean. If you don’t get what I mean, ask your dad/grandma/the creepy guy next door who never wears a shirt. Moving on. Ten.com has all kinds of high-quality vids to assist you in your quest for load-blowing. There’s over 5,000 vids to be exact, which you can conveniently search by porn star, sexual act, video title, or even by random shit like physical attribute, sex toy, or clothing. (Clothing? Srsly? What a waste of a category.) There’s pics too, over 500 galleries in high-res, but no zip sets. Fuckin whatever. At least there’s no download limit on the vids, and none of that DRM BS. Plus there’s a little timer on the site that tells you exactly how many hours till more new boner material is added. For only $4.95 to do a three-day trial, any cheap-ass bastard can afford to at least check this shit out.
ZTOD Site Review
May 6, 2009
ZOMG. ZTOD.com is fucking RAD. In case you’re a total effing newb, ZTOD = Zero Tolerance On Demand. Duh. Anyways. This site is the pimp shit. All the bitches are way hot, and there’s just so damn much content. I mean, there’s almost 5,000 scenes, over 2,000 porn stars, and 50+ niches of perverted shit for you to stroke it to. Of course there’s the straight up dude/chick fucking, but there’s also pretty much everything else, like squirting, creampies, facials, fisting, anal, group sex, Latina sluts, blah blah blah. These vids are the real deal, in HD (HD = Hard Dick. Duh.), and check this out: You can download the shit in the perfect format for your iPod/iPhone. Fuck yeah! Just right for touchin’ it whenever and wherever a whack attack may strike! Yeah, you can get these gnarly scenes in several other formats too, but c’mon! I gots to have T&A on my Pod! Port-o-porn! Isn’t that what public restrooms are for? Beatin’ off a load into the urinal while your dad watches? It just got a thousand times easier to do that now that I can see chicks getting railed on my Pod! But srsly. ZTOD has pictures too. Not high-res, but who cares when you load them onto your Pod right?? Just join the site already. There’s no download limits, and you can keep everything FOREVER! Or at least till your Pod gets too jizz-soaked to function.
Blowgaurd Review
May 6, 2009
A vibrating mouthguard that is a sex toy designed by a dentist? LOL WTF dude! Hey it must be good shit if a doctor made it. We got our hands interns mouth on a Blowgaurd which comes with a vibrating insert and some strawberry mouth lube. We ditched the lube cause is sucked and who needs lube for a bj. So we grabbed the intern and put her to work. She usually sucks at blow jobs. Get it? Sucks, like suckin on a dick, man I’m clever. I found it to be the most rockin bj I have had all month, and man have I had a lot. Plus my dick came out of the experience without scratches and bite marks. Bonus! She said it was pretty rockin but things got crowded in her mouth and made it hard for her to use her tongue. What she uses her tongue? Never noticed before. BURN! We decided after using this we are gonna rename blowjobs, blowfuns. So our conclusion. If your girl sucks at suckin, cop that shit. If she knows how to rock your cock then skip the hefty price of $24.95 for what is basically vibrationg mouthgaurd. So click here to buy your girl some instant BJ talent.
Silvia Saint Website Review
April 30, 2009
Silvia Saint is one of those hot blonde bitches who doesn’t have the giant fake overly-huge titties that look like they’re gonna pop if you motorboat ‘em. Which is a plus. Cuz who wants silicone all up in their face? Not this guy. Anyways. Her website (www.silviasaint.com) is tit-tastic. This chick is a pro, ok? There’s plenty of high-res pics to get your dick off, with a bunch of different wardrobes, including some that almost look classy. Almost. C’mon. This is porn. It’s impossible to actually be classy, you idiot. The only thing that blows about the pics is they’re not zipped. But whatev. Deal with it. If pics don’t get your solider standing at attention, then you can check out the videos of pussy in action. Action pussy! Take that peen! You get Widows Media vids that have fuckin sweet playback, and you can peep everything from solo jobs to ass fucking. Yup, dick to ass. Ohh naw!! Ohh yesss. You even get 15 bonus (boner) sites when you sign up for Silvia’s site, so there’s plenty of extra whack material.
Hit the jump for more “material”
Fleshlight Review
April 16, 2009
Product: Fleshlight
Price: $69.99
Where to buy: www.fleshlight.com
Rating: 
We totally hate when we go through security checkpoints at the airport and they pull out our giant pocket pussy from our carry-on to flash around. But in your case, you probably hate it when your mom is cleaning her basement/your room and she finds that dirty little toy under a pile of tube socks and a Sears catalog. Anyway, here’s a toy that’s more customizable than a riced-out Civic. The Fleshlight is the shit. You get to build your own, with a choice of 4 entries (yeah that’s right, four, they found the mythical 4th one), 7 textures, and 2 colors. We picked out the Lady (Vagina) entry, wonder wave texture, and pink color. And he best part is it looks like a flashlight to keep it under wraps. Rock that thing with some KY and you got your night covered brah. Unlike most pocket pussys that feel like you’re fucking a cold piece of gum, this shit feels like the real thing and will actually get you off just like a real live cooch. Our only problem is that it feels a little too real and just might make you pull out during the big O to squirt on your girlfriend’s chest, and then you end up with a dirty keyboard. Don’t ask how we know you do that, you pervert. We also loved the fact that it washes easily, you can adjust the suction with a twist of the cap, it doesn’t require batteries, and it improves stamina with the real thing. And now with fleshlight girls you can rock your favorite porn star’s hole (or a costom molded fleshlight of it). Boner.
Get the Flash Player to see this content.
